Fat is as Fat Does

The success of Alan’s valiant attempt to gain weight for those thin days we will spend in Frozenland is debatable. Due to our brilliant ability of hindsight, we now understand progress would have been measured much more precisely had we recorded any form of numerical value prior to this endeavor; pounds, inches; pixels, even. To assist Alan in his belly aching, face stuffing, couch anchoring journey, I have furnished the kitchen counters with an array of baked goods and thoroughly rich, in both flavor and calories, meals. Burning through four pounds of butter in a single week and countless five-pound bags of flour and sugar, here is a visual taste of some of the latest creations:

Lemon pound cake, aptly named for its utilization of an entire pound of butter, misleadingly named because the finished product weighs three.

Lemon pound cake, aptly named for its utilization of an entire pound of butter, misleadingly named because the finished product weighs three.

A massive batch of gingerbread cookies.

A massive batch of gingerbread cookies.

Pear, walnut, and dried cranberry muffins; I tripled this recipe.

Pear, walnut, and dried cranberry muffins; I tripled this recipe.

Two loaves of pear bread

Two loaves of pear bread

Two loaves of white bread

Two loaves of white bread

Chocolate Cupcakes, Round 1

Chocolate Cupcakes, Round 1

Chocolate cake, Round 2

Chocolate cake, Round 2

Photo Jan 09, 8 06 03 PM

Chocolate cake, Round 3

Good old fashioned chicken and dumplings

Good old fashioned chicken and dumplings

Cinnamon rolls, a four-plus hour process

Cinnamon rolls, a four-plus hour process

Cinnamon rolls

Drenched in butter and brown sugar

And more cinnamon rolls

And more cinnamon rolls

Snickerdoodles, hot off the press

Snickerdoodles, hot off the press

Peanut butter cookies topped with crushed peanuts

Cooling peanut butter cookies topped with crushed peanuts

Cherry Pie, a lot of cherry pie.

Cherry Pie, a lot of cherry pie.

Alan, post chicken and dumplings.

Swathed in hand knits of the softest spun merino wool, using a human as a pillow, Alan takes some time to recover from a day filled with brownies and cheese.

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One thought on “Fat is as Fat Does

  1. Alex! Hi! This is so doggone funny! fat is as fat does indeed…if alan couldn’t gain weight on this program, he is just a big fat loser! haha. good luck with everything over there. can’t wait to hear about your adventures…
    maura

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